The cat is out of the bag..

well to some people anyways.

On saturday I surprisingly found out that I'm pregnant again. This was met with very mixed emotions. We are very happy and excited. Right now we figure the due date to be probably December. I've always wanted a December baby. We are however very anxious and nervous. As many of you know already Patrick and I have had 3 losses over the past 5 years. It's been a rough road and definately has taken away some of the excitement away from this process.

When I think back on all of it, obviously I would change the outcomes of most of it. We of course were too excited to not tell anyone but at the same time haven't really talked about it to each other much. I think at this point we don't want to get ahead of ourselves in case it happens again. It's kind of sad that it's that way. I don't with this sort of thing on anyone. I don't think I'll stop worrying for quite a while. But while the lossed sucked, i think that this one making it will make it that much sweeter. I don't expect a lot of people (family and friends) to really understand what I've gone through. But that's ok. They have all been wonderful throughout the whole ordeal. I've also struck up a casual relationship with my older female cousin Aimee. We never really talked a whole lot but have recently found something in common with each other.

So wish us luck. So far things look good. No bleeding or cramps. I've had some morning sickness and even felt icky enough to leave work early today to come home and take a nap :) I even took a second test just to ease my mind that all was ok. The line was darker this time so that has me feeling a bit better. ;)