a long awaited blog post...

Well maybe not but here it is. LOL We are moved in. Almost everything is unacked. I still have some clothes on our bed to put away and a bunch to clean but that is about it right now. I'm enjoying living here imensely. It's been beneficial so far. I think we've eaten at each others houses most days this week LOL.
Today is the first day i've been able to relax for a change. We've been juggling our time between moving, my new job and the hospital where his grandfather is. Patrick has been really stressed. He's been at odds with most his family on the care that his grandfather should be getting right now. Unfortunately it makes him look bad and like he's giving up. Patrick would rather his grandfather (who's been a dad to him) come home and live the rest of his days where he would want to be. However, the rest of the family wants to give Chemo a try. Chemo at this point won't make the cancer go away and won't save him. The best it could do is possibly ease the pain and give him a few months. However, Fred is not a healthy person. SO his chances of Chemo helping him are very slim. Most likely it will only make him sicker and more miserable. The problem is that Patrick knows this and the rest of the family doens't. They are acting out of grief and he has a hard time understanding their reasoning. It's a stressful situation. Fred is at the Tiffin hospital today to go through a round of chemo and see how he takes to is and reacts. If he doesn't do well then he'll come home to hospice care and family till he leaves this world.
You know I've always known that this time would come and that I needed to be prepared for it. I knew how hard it woud be for my husband and I needed to be able to be there for him and to help him through it. I just never prepared myself for my own grief. I love my own grandparents but can't say I was ever really close to them. Fred however liked and accepted me from the start. Calling me little red short for Little Redneck due to the fact that I was catholic. We've spent many a day sitting in their back yard at the farm just chatting and I will miss that very much. They are truly my grandparents as well and I'm dealing with my own sadness as well as Patrick's. I know it will pass. I hope for the best cenerio in that Fred passes away with as little pain as possible.